Shame on Hugh

I'm glad to see Hugh Hefner, the energetic octagenarian, is moving on after the breakup with one of his harum's mainstays, Holly Madison. His femme du jour now is a 38-year old, four-legged, quadruple breasted blonde (surprise!) with the last name of Shannon, and the first names of Kristina and Karissa. That's right -- 19-year old twins -- and how proud their parents must be of their two little girls, using every asset at their disposal to advance in the highly competitive theater of Playboy palace promiscuity, the Hefner College of Carnal Knowledge. Yeah, nothing like round-the-clock rollicking in the raw with your great-grandfather, for God's sake. But at least they have each other; I mean, I hope they haven't had each other; oh dear, I mean nobody will come between them, well, except Hef I guess. Perhaps I should stick with political posts?