Thank You

I am thrilled to report that, in the past week, the readership of this blog has doubled; that's right, grown by a factor of 2 -- from two to four. I started this site one short month ago, never dreaming it would catch fire and take the Internet by storm as it has. To put it in perspective, every 7.5 days one more follower has jumped aboard. I wish I could personally thank each and every one of you . . . Well, I guess I can since there's only four, and one lives with me. Let me think about that.

My goal is to once again double my readership in the next month, to give four more lucky folks the benefit of my shallow knowledge, irrelevant opinions, and nonsensical essays. Call me a dreamer, you four out there, but one month from today I'll show ya. You betcha. So spread the word, share the wealth. With your help, I shall rise from the depths of obscurity to the heights of . . . whatever!

The Early Show, Part 2

Preface: If you read the preceding post, you know I am not terribly bright. Information obvious and apparent to most people has often eluded my grasp. Therefore, if the following post displays ignorance, you've been warned.

What is it with early voting? Did this always exist? I don't mean absentee ballots, but actual in-person voting at the polls. When did Election Day become Election Season? Reports are that up to one-third of presidential voting may take place before Tuesday. In some states, including battleground states, half of the votes may be cast in advance. Huh?

This astounds and confuses me. Suppose we awoke this morning to the airing of a photo showing Obama and Ayers fist-pumping at a "Death to America" rally somewhere years back. Or, to be fair and balanced, a video surfaced of McCain wearing a little black dress and stilettos at a time of year other than Halloween. I may wish to re-evaluate my support for either candidate based on this new information, but what if I already voted? I don't get it.

I assume the people who vote early are hard-core supporters of their candidate who will not be swayed by such revelations. It still doesn't seem right to me. Am I off base here?

The Early Show

What’s with all this talk about early boating? I’m hearing of lines blocks long in several states, lines of folks waiting to enter the boating booth and cast off. When did boating become such a proletarian pastime? And where did all these boats come from, especially in landlocked areas; aren’t we on the verge of an economic apocalypse? We can’t afford a toy boat, let alone a real one. And why is it considered early? Seems to me that it’s a little late to hit the water; isn’t that more of a summertime thing?

"What’s that?" My wife Joan is peering over my shoulder. "It’s early voting, not boating? So, they're waiting to cast their votes, not cast off on boats?" That explains it. Sorry.

Between Barack and a Bad Place

Three days to go. One man stands between Barack Obama and the radically altered America we shall have if Obama becomes President, an America featuring:

• A far-left Democratic monopoly of the executive and legislative branches of government. The cabal of Obama / Reid / Polosi, with henchmen like the repulsive Barney Frank, will be free to launch their version of Extreme Makeover, Nation Edition.
• Court appointments of judges (including two or three on the Supreme Court) likely to share the Senator's desire to use the Constitution as a vehicle for government activism, in direct conflict with the wishes of the founding fathers.
• An economic model driven by income redistribution, featuring anti-growth tax policy and unfettered government spending.
• A likely censoring of contrary media voices, via reintroduction of the Fairness Doctrine, with conservative talk radio taking the biggest hit when it will be needed more than ever.
• A certain international crisis, by admission of his own running mate, that will test the guts and resolve of a man who has demonstrated nary a shred of courage of any stripe, and has actively associated with numerous known haters of America and Israel.
• The elimination of the secret ballot in union voting, ushering in a new era of pressure and intimidation in the workplace.
• The gleeful gabbing and scribbling of the far left media and celebrity kooks who decided long ago that this young charismatic politician out of central casting deserved a coronation. The second best thing from a McCain victory, besides the better man winning, would be the crushed looks on the faces of Olbermann, Matthews and the rest when they declare him the winner.
• Worst of all, a President younger than me . . . a lot younger than me.

Come on, Johnny old man, put this youngster in his place.